SQUARE PEG, ROUND HOLE

It’s been a while since I have posted regularly, but with moving to the North Carolina mountains it would be an understatement to say I have been pretty busy.

But, everyday I put these little snippets in my notes on my iPhone and I tell myself, “I’m going to sit down one day soon and put it all together … one day soon.

If I had the time I would do it all in one day, but, as most of you know it’s not how writers operate.

The other day I ran across two different thoughts with two completely different subjects that seemed to merge into one complete analogy on relationships. And, as I delved into my thoughts and life experience the “light came on.”

I have always written about how we perceive life … the happy, how everything goes our way life … and the reality of life … the ups and downs, the someone peed in my corn flakes life.

My conclusion? Both are needed to keep us grounded to real life, all while keeping our hopes and dreams of the more positive side of life alive and willing to face yet, another day.

After hearing a commotion in my son’s room, I went upstairs to investigate. There he sat with this little workshop toy attempting to put one of the little pieces designed to teach shapes into a cutout slot.

Yes, you’ve got the idea, he was attempting to put a square shape into a round shape … the old square peg into a round hole idiom.

So as much as a 2-year-old can understand, I attempted to show him that it wouldn’t fit, then directed his attention to its proper place.

No, my attempts  didn’t work … he was resigned that he was  going to make that square shape fit in the spot where the round shape was supposed to go.

I am sure you can already see the analogy to relationships we all may have been in or have seen others go through.

Every relationship is not a perfect fit, yet sometimes we are resigned to make it a fit … at all costs.

Some of us are not wired to accept failure or believe we can shape things to our liking and still make it work.

Well, there aren’t really any shortcuts to successful relationships, at least not long-term solutions.

I’ve always said a zebra can’t change their stripes, and for the most part, you can’t change the way someone is. People evolve, they don’t really change … and change comes from within. Change can’t be imposed by someone else, although it can be motivated, short term, by others.

Depending on the material, you may can pound a square peg into a round hole, but unless you completely ruin the round hole, the square peg will only fit so far before it becomes lodged and will not budge any further … in my analogy, it becomes a stagnate and unmovable relationship destined to halt to a complete standstill, which results in animosity, regret and ultimately looking for a better fit or an undamaged surface.

Many will repeat the “square peg, round hole” scenario many times, all while not realizing a square peg will not fit into a round hole and that the real issue may lie within them, and not the “hole” they are attempting to fit in, which brings me to the second thought.

After I left my sons room I went out to my workshop.

Along the way I noticed the roses needed some of the dead blooms pruned off. The type of rose bush I have has to be pruned of the dead roses so more roses will grow … just like relationships have to be pruned of all misgivings of past relationships.

In order for a relationship to “bloom” there can be no assumption a current or fledgling relationship will be like a past relationship. Every relationship succeeds or fails on its own merits … unless you are still attempting to put a square peg in a round hole.

Rose Rock_2Once pruned, my rose bush yields the most beautiful flowers … all because I gave it a fighting chance to grow, rather than have the limbs burdened with the weight of dead flowers that still absorb the nutrients the new roses need to flourish.

Unless you shed the burden and misgivings of your past, a new relationship will not flourish and chances are you could be destined to be fighting an uphill battle to give a new relationship the “nutrients” it needs.

There is a large rock immediately in front of my rose bush. Some of the rose bush grows from out under the rock … yet, against all odds, the rose bush flourishes.

While I realize a rose bush is not a thinking being, it should give us inspiration that, like the bush, the will, the need to survive, the need for warmth and light can still be found … even from the beneath the rock we call life … a long as we can still find a way to shine.

 

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