Before I get started, let me say I am neither a psychologist or nutritionist. I am merely a man who has had a lot of life experiences, and yes, I paid attention.
During my life I can say I have dated and been with and observed many people with weight issues, their words not mine, but have been able to notice that not all the time is their weight really an issue.
First off, I have weight issues as well, although many would say they wished they had my problem. I have problems keeping weight on because my metabolism is high.
So, yeah, I hear you. Then what the hell do I know about weight issues? Honestly, I don’t let my weight be an issue, although it is not what many would think would be an issue.
I’m 6 foot tall, so I am just too tall for my weight. At least that is how I see it.
Other than medical issues that stand in the way of preventing weight loss, how hard could it be, right? Absolutely wrong.
We’ve heard all the sayings, “She’d be pretty if she just lost some weight.” Well, excuse me, weight has nothing to do with being “pretty” or beautiful, but what it does show is the lack of depth of the person that would use that phrase.
And, it is exactly that train of thought that contributes to the lack of compassion given to those with weight issues.
Beauty is not defined by a person’s weight. Which is Step No. 1 to weight loss.
Ah, so how can that be considered a step in losing weight? Well, if you are wanting to lose weight because it makes you prettier, you’re wrong. Weight makes you skinny or fluffy, not pretty, ugly or anywhere in between.
Beauty is not defined by the weight of a person, but by the weight and content of their heart and brain, which brings us to Step No. 2. and Step No. 3.
Before you can even begin losing weight, ask yourself why you want to lose it — and be honest. This step will involve some really deep soul-searching that may not feel so good.
Beside medical issues, there are so many reasons why people gain weight or can’t lose it.
As I have said, I have known, been with and dated women anywhere from 5 feet tall that weighed 100 pounds soaking wet to women 6-feet, 4-inches of a proportional weight and everything in between.
So as I said earlier, this is all experience — nothing based on actual medical or psychological data.
Take those that considered themselves overweight — when in my eyes they weren’t — what I found were some were perfectly fine where they were in their mind weight-wise. Those had the best attitudes, the best heart and felt really good about themselves — always a pleasure to be around.
Then, and this is where I get politically incorrect and categorize, but from honest observation, there were those that I fit into two other categories.
One group felt so poorly of themselves, and how they looked, that they became doormats for unscrupulous men wanting to take advantage of them — totally deplorable. The woman’s lack of confidence in themselves and their perceived flaws left them totally defenseless to someone, anyone, that pays them the least little bit of attention.
What this group of women didn’t realize was, they too, were still beautiful to the right man who looked at who she was, rather than the kind of man who only looked to take advantage of them.
The final group of women I’ll mention are the women who overcompensate for the way they feel about their self and their weight by being flashy, boisterous, sarcastic, pessimistic and can do nothing but blame others for the way they feel about themselves — the entitled and pushy ones.
And, I’ll just leave that last group with only those comments.
So, now that everyone with weight issues is angered, I’ll just say this, I have been badgered, joked about, teased and every other adjective you can think of, so, please don’t insult me by being angered if you are the opposite of me … call me skinny and I get just as put down if someone calls you chunky.
If you think that being called obese is worse than being called skinny, you know nothing about people, especially those that have been kidded their entire life about it.
Being called a name is just as bad, regardless of the name, and regardless of the size.
How we overcome being called skinny, lanky, obese or fat is to first get our heart right (Step No. 2). I did a long time ago.
First things first, forgive yourself for everything and forgive everyone else for all the negatives in your past and present.
This is one of the hardest things to do, especially forgiving yourself. We are often the hardest on ourselves … more than those around us are.
Forgive all the times you blamed yourself for something you didn’t have control over, and for the things you did have control over. Forgive others for breaking your heart, and yourself for all the hearts you broke. Forgiveness and having a good and open heart is the second step in resolving weight issues.
Finally, change the way you think … yes, your brain (Step No. 3).
Are you happy with your weight? If you are, then you are already there, once you tell yourself over and over again that you are a beautiful person and your heart is filled with nothing but love, hope, faith and good intentions.
If you aren’t happy with your weight, then condition your brain to hear nothing but positive thoughts and keep reinforcing positive thoughts to yourself every day — then, make a reasonable and attainable short-range plan and stick to it.
Short-range plans are essential to being successful. Why? Because most people need to see results. The more results you are able to see and verify, the more likely you’ll be to not give up. Remember, positive thoughts always. So, you don’t reach a short-range goal, set a new goal and keep working toward it.
Remember, never give up. A good heart and the way you think about yourself only shows how beautiful you really are, regardless of your weight — and never let anyone tell you differently.
Never resign yourself to feeling bad about yourself and the way you look — those that don’t see a beautiful person have their own issues. And, never let anyone try to take advantage of you simply because you may not feel the best about yourself.
One final thought … beauty will always be who you are, and not your weight. Who you are, your heart and your outlook on life will always give your beauty a way to shine.