‘She loves me, she loves me not’

Every time I see a flower I remember the old phrase involving a sunflower or daisy and the words, “She loves me, She loves me not.”

While its origin is disputed somewhat — from being an actual occurrence of a chance to win over a woman or that of a french game — the idea of taking a chance on gauging the probability of a love interest is nothing new.

Some go as far as using a psychic medium, palm reader, horoscopes — and do tell — “cyber life.” Yes, cyber life is becoming more indicative of the type of life a lot of people lead nowadays.

So, why didn’t I use a sunflower or a daisy as my main photo? Because unlike having many petals like a sunflower or a daisy, the Hibiscus Mutabilis, also known as the Confederate rose (aka Dixie rosemallow or the cotton rosemallow), is more like cotton than a rose and only has an average life span of three days.

The “rose” goes through an entire life cycle in three days, which got me to wondering about human life cycles and love interests.

What if humans had such short life cycles? What if, in three days time we had to live our entire lives at that accelerated pace?

Fortunately, we don’t have just three days, yet even with our extended lifetime, many squander the opportunities they do have. And, like the sunflower or the daisy their petals are plucked and fall to the ground until the last petal is left — leaving their love and happiness balancing on the luck of the last petal (or psychic, palm reader, horoscope or the perfect match on some obscure website).

The old fashioned way of beginning an interpersonal relationship is becoming extinct. Yes, technology makes it all easier to find a possible love interest. But at what cost?

There are many that find greater acceptance though social media sites and likewise on dating sites. One thing I’ve noticed, though, is the speed and length of time one goes from being an unknown to being considered “a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend,” and the number of heartbreaks so quickly dismissed by someone you’ve never met.

Go ahead, call me old fashioned, but seeing someone face to face — close enough to touch — close enough to see facial expressions, body language and the sense of sincerity. Making the interaction “personal” trumps an electronic facsimile of the same by leaps and bounds.

There’s no worry about being “catfished” or being led to believe someone is something they aren’t. Although, many have learned to tell a good tale face to face.

So, I hear you saying, “get to the point already.” So, I will.

Many have run into snags in the road in their search for the perfect match. And simply put, there is no easy solution … no witch doctor, no relationship pill, no palm reader or any other shortcut to finding true and lasting love.

Among all the face shots on profiles of nationally known websites, what is behind the face is a still total mystery full of everything from truth to half-truths and half-truths to lies — and everything in between.

There are those that are so willing just to have someone love them it makes it easy to become the victim of someone who is less than forthright. Ultimately, there is a chance of becoming heartbroken when things don’t pan out — all because someone looked handsome or beautiful in a face photo and listed interests and accomplishments just to appear to have it “all together.”

For some, it’s a lesson … for others, it leads them to believing love doesn’t exist or that members of the opposite sex are all the same — in a bad way. And, for a very few, love does strike somewhere in the middle of an innocent conversation.

I am not a big fan of social media sites, but sometimes it’s a necessary evil. Not everyone is on a social media site to meet the man or woman of their dreams … but, sometimes it does happen.

I’ve spoken to some that don’t believe you can meet someone face-to-face nowadays and have the same interests, spark and commonalities as quickly as you can find online — maybe so — it could be because it’s too difficult to be someone else when you’re face to face.

Others say it’s too hard to meet someone for the first time face to face in today’s society — and that it “takes too long” to establish something real.

How much more “real” can you get when you meet someone face to face, or is there a reason you can’t be the same person in public as you are online?

Face-to-face rendezvous save a lot of time and chatter over things that may or may not be true. Physically seeing someone keeps you from falling for someone who may not be who they say they are or look the way they portrayed themselves.

Although the same thing can happen by meeting someone in person for the very first time, intuition is usually good enough to weed out most future mistakes and “red flags.”

I look at it like this, before I pick up the proverbial daisy or sunflower and start plucking the petals to the tune of “she loves me, she loves me not,” I want to know my heart is in the right place … from someone I can see, touch and hear their words from lips I can see.

Believe me, there are many different views on how to search for your own lifetime love … just be sure you know what you’re getting yourself into, rather than being kept in the dark.

We are fortunate to have a longer lifespan than the three days the Hibiscus Mutabilis has. But, do we know that for sure? As the saying goes, “No one is promised tomorrow.”

Life is too short to waste it on the possibility of finding your lifetime love by spending it in today’s cyber life. Eventually, you’ll have to live with the love of your life face to face. I’m glad I don’t have to waste what time I do have inside of cyber life looking for a lifetime love. Looking inside the keystrokes for weeks at a time is not the same as holding someone’s hand sooner.

But, of course, you can always leave it to the fate of flower petals. Believe me, it’s nice not to have to count on the number of petals on a flower and to know for sure.

If you are still looking for your lifetime love and what you are doing to find it isn’t working, find another way — all while finding a way to shine outside the comfort and convenience of your own home.

 

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