Help for romantically challenged ‘virtually’ yours

Being romantic really isn’t an art form. It is a feeling or way of expressing your feelings toward someone.

For some it comes naturally, but for others it’s a little more difficult and for some, the word challenge would be an understatement.

And, not to leave anyone out … there is always the element of “I won’t show you, cause I really don’t care” group.

So before I go any further, let me talk a little bit about the last group I mention.

I’ve always been one to tell it like it is. I realized early in my journalism career that people appreciated my candor, as I diplomatically call it, more than beating around the bush.

With that said, there will always be people who come into your life that aren’t there to be romantic. You have the players, the emotionally unavailable and those that just have nothing better to do … and, you’re the one that fills the void for their need.

They will be the first to tell you they love you, but show nothing of their love … all while using excuses for their shortcomings or real lack of honest intentions.

It’s up to you to figure out if your romantic endeavors include someone in that last group and whether to keep them in your life, or to cut them loose.

Now, discounting that last group, not everyone has the innate or artistic ability to come up with something original or off the top of their head to show someone they are truly interested, or if already involved, care about the one they’re  with.

But, in today’s electronic world and cyberspace, along with more traditional ways of showing someone they are the apple of your eye, there’s no excuse why you aren’t able to romance your significant other.

And, romancing your significant other, or prospective significant other, isn’t explicitly for singles.

Married? Want to stay happily married? Then never stop romancing your husband or wife. Romance should never stop. Just because you have them, doesn’t mean the romancing should stop. It’s one of the many keys to a happy marriage.

Before I begin listing some of the ways you can show your romantic side every day, let’s get an easy one out of the way.

Social media sites. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to show someone you care and are proud of it on social media. I know, I know … many will claim not to want to put their business out on social media sites … that is a myth and a cop-out. If the site has a place to show your relationship status, scream it from the highest mountain that you are taken. Now, if you don’t want to list a name, that’s fine. But, nothing sends the wrong signal like not owning up to being in a relationship. Not letting people know you are in a relationship will cause problems at some point, real or imagined. So, how proud of you of your relationship? Showing it says it all.

First let me preface the following suggestions with this caveat — if you are ego conscience, are a man’s man or the independent woman and feel you are showing a weakness by being romantic, or that your overture will send the wrong signal — you’ve already lost.

Read that again — you’ve already lost. If you are more concerned about how it looks rather than how you can make someone you care about feel — you’ve already lost.

Budget strapped? Here are a few suggestions and ways you can show you care.

Time. The best thing you can do is give your time, and plenty of it. The worst thing you can do is use the lack of time as an excuse — people make time for what’s important.The more you don’t have time or make excuses for not having enough time or being too busy, the more you move your significant other down the list of priorities. Is that the message you want to send? Everyone knows we all have more going on nowadays than we used to, but taking a few minutes during the day to tell someone you are thinking of them is not too much to ask. And by the way, it’s not a good idea to say you don’t have time if you’re surfing the web and have an online presence, just to turn around and tell your significant other you don’t have time. It really shows where your priorities lie. I am not saying you don’t deserve some me time, but your significant other also deserves some them time.— just make sure you allow time for both you and them.

Virtually yours. For those with access to the internet either by computer or cell phone, there are a multitude of websites offering free virtual gifts.You can find everything from virtual flowers to eCards. While you may be geographically relocated or not able to afford real flowers or a card, nothing says I care, I miss you, I’m thinking of you or I love you like the next best thing — the thought. There are virtually a gazillion of these sites on the internet, each site with hundreds of options within the site — and there are how many days in a year? — 365. So, if you can’t show your romantic side at least once a day with a gazillion possibilities, it just may say a lot about your intentions — the wrong message you just don’t want to send.

Online quotes and YouTube. You don’t have to look really hard to find romantic quotes or romantic songs on the internet. It’s really too easy to find what you are feeling in a quote or even one of those songs that reminds him/her or the two of you. If you aren’t able to copy and paste the quote or song, or you can write the quote down and send it via text, or better yet, share it in a telephone conversation or in person. As far as a song goes, try this on the phone or text, “I heard this song and it reminds me of (or how I feel about) you.”

Phone calls, texts and audio files. See time above. Nothing says I am thinking of you like a live phone call. I know, time is a problem, then send a text message or make a voice message and send it via text message. Not good enough?, make the call and if there is no answer, leave a voice message. You’d be surprised what, “I was thinking about you and just wanted you to know you’re in my thoughts,” will mean to the one on the other side of the phone. It’s just that simple. Don’t let time be your enemy, make it work for you. In line with the same message, make a random call to say you’re thinking of someone. It only takes a minute to say, “I’m thinking about you,” “You’re in my thoughts,” or “You are the sexiest (man/woman) I know.” I’ll tell you this much, one minute of your time is worth the big smile you’ll put on someone’s face.

Traditional. I’ve never seen a woman who didn’t like to get little somethings in person. Make sure you know what her favorite flowers are. Chocolate? Not everyone likes chocolate, but it’s an option. Ladies, don’t forget you can send flowers too, it just all depends on your man. How about tickets to a professional ball game or something he has always wanted but won’t buy for himself? Men, some ladies like Spa days, pedicure, manicure, jewelry, etc., and they are relatively inexpensive. A dinner out and a movie is a great idea. There are really just too many traditional ways to show you care. It can be something simple, or go out and splurge (within your budget, of course). Then there are romantic notes written and placed in a pocket or jacket, notes made with lipstick on the mirror and many more artistic ways to say you care.

There are just too many ideas and ways you can show someone they are important, thought about, respected and loved.

You’d be surprised the more and more you start doing these little things the more it will become a habit, rather the exception, and the more romantic you will become for your partner and the closer you will become as a couple.

Not everyone is cognizant enough to know what or how to show their affection, intentions or feelings. And, no, it is not an excuse. Some, male and females alike, just need a nudge now and then or a reminder.

Being romantically challenged is not an excuse, but if you know you are, it is a reason to put some work into it and becoming more in tune with the dance that romance is.

If you aren’t sure if you are romantically challenged or not, ask your partner. Ride off into the sunset and find a way to shine by working together toward a romantic and rewarding relationship.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements