Many think it’s easy for a writer to sit down, get on a keyboard and put something on paper or the screen that someone might want to read.
In reality, it’s not quite as simple as that. Sure, it’s easy to just sit down and write something, but to make it meaningful a writer has to believe in what he or she is writing about in the first place.
I use that as a preface, because most of the time writers write about other people and things, while excluding themselves from whatever they’re writing about.
On a personal and emotional level, writers are just like everyone else. We are susceptible to the same types of emotions the rest of society is. We just really don’t like talking about ourselves or don’t want readers to get to close to “who” we are as human beings.
But, if you look closely, you will “see” and “feel” a writer through the things they write.
Behind every blog or story you read there’s a writer trying to find the right words to get a story across to the reader.
Sometimes, we struggle with words — just as everyone can in daily communication with those we work with, friends and loved ones.
As writers sometimes struggle with writing, we all struggle with speaking just the right words at the right time. Some just can’t find the right words, while others just can’t find it within themselves to say the right words.
Past and present hurts can make it extremely difficult, at times, to be able to speak the words the mind and heart want to say.
And, no matter how much you think you trust someone, overcoming many past hurts can make it difficult to reason between how much you trust someone and how much your innermost survival instincts tell you not to, which gives the impression a person is less than empathetic or just doesn’t care.
Some live their entire life with the struggle between head, heart and survival, and unfortunately, never learn to fully trust because of the risk of hurt, loss or rejection.
There have been studies done on “positive and negative moments” and scientists and psychologists have determined through studies it takes five positive moments or words to overcome one negative moment or word.
Imagine someone who has had more negative moments or words in their lives than positive ones; how long would it take to gain their trust?
As I wrote in an early blog last year, it’s not as easy as looking at the new person in your life and realizing they are not the one that harmed you. While that may be the intention, sooner or later some doubt is liable to creep in.
Nobel Prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahneman suggests we each go through about 20,000 of these such moments daily — 20,000!
Psychologist John Gottman conducted studies of positive-to-negative ratios in marriages. Using a 5:1 ratio, he and his colleagues studied 700 newlywed couples, while scoring the couples and predicting whether they would stay together or divorce through their positive and negative interaction in one 15-minute conversation. The follow-up 10 years later showed they predicted divorce with 94 percent accuracy.
Surprised? I’m not.
So much good can come from kind, positive words, while nothing but bad things — and bad memories — can come from negative and harmful words.
As I sit here typing this, I am not at a loss for words, although while trying to make what I have written interesting enough to read, I am positive there are those who have had so much negative enter their “20,000 moments” today.
For those who have sat and read this blog today, thank you so much for being so generous with your time. I am truly appreciative for your following and reading my blog, because you are the ones that make a difference in my life and it is through your support I am able to do what I do.
Finally, I hope the five reinforcements in the preceding paragraph, if nothing else, made it a little easier to overcome just one of those bad moments in your “20,000 moments” today.
Tomorrow is a new day, so go out and spread positive moments while finding a way to shine. It’s all in your hands … and words.